a note on etiquette

Cynthia Higginbotham cyhiggin at republicofnewhome.org
Sun Feb 29 08:36:55 PST 2004


On Saturday 28 February 2004 11:25 pm, Jeremy Byron wrote:
> >It has gradually become clear to me that it is awkward to send thank you
> >notes upon receiving help when there is nothing else to be said,as it
> >only takes up space so i'd like to know if it is common understanding
> >that no answer is by no means to be taken for rudeness,and that
> >thankfulness is implicit..

One might think that in theory, but practically, one's subconscious tends to 
equate 'no response' with 'I'm ignoring you', even if you know better. If 
enough advice falls into a black hole, I feel that no one cares what I have 
to say, and stop giving advice.  It's similar to assuming that your spouse or 
lover just knows that you love him/her, and never telling them explicitly. 
You may be rudely surprised one morning to find out that they've left you 
because you don't seem to care...

It never hurts to say 'thank you' if you were helped, and as others have 
written, feedback about whether the advice actually helped is good, too.

-- 
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Cynthia Higginbotham     cyhiggin at republicofnewhome dot org



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